Post-Divorce Assessment

How your separation is affecting your children

Perhaps it has been some time since you went through separation and your child is still not quite his/her usual self… Do you worry how your separation/divorce has affected your child? Are you wondering how your child is adjusting to your new partner or to the constant back-and-forth between the two homes.

I offer post-divorce evaluations for children and teens. These assessments can be useful for parents who do not feel that their situation requires a long-term commitment to therapy. You might just need a professional opinion (i.e. a quick check-in). A post-divorce assessment can also help those parents who went through a high-conflict divorce and know that their ex-partner will not consent to long-term therapy, but might be interested in getting the child evaluated in a quick and transparent fashion.

This is how it works: I speak with both parents separately to gather information. We can do it on the phone or by zoom. Next, we schedule 1 or 2 sessions with the child. We can do this in person in the office or by zoom. You will need to decide which parent (or both) will be present. Finally, we arrange a feedback session by zoom with both parents. Here we discuss my clinical impressions of your child’s situation. I will provide you with tools necessary to improve your ability to co-parent and also identify your weak spots. The feedback meeting can be done separately with each parent.

Some Co-Parenting Tips
  • Always show respect towards the other parent in front of your child. No child wants to hear negative things about their other parent, no matter how old the child is.
  • Don’t make your child pick sides. Allow your child to build strong relationships with both you and your ex partner.
  • Establish effective communication with your ex, whether it is in person, by phone, email or text. Don’t make your child serve as a messenger between you and your ex.
  • Allow your child to phone/use facetime with his other parent while the child is with you and your ex partner should do the same, otherwise the child will feel living in two prisons.
  • You don’t need to agree with your ex partner on every little thing. Your child will get used to living in two homes with different rules. However, do try to stand together when it comes to important stuff: health and education issues, big events and celebrations, loss and grief. Your child will feel so much more supported when he/she will see you together during difficult times or when something important happens.

Both parents need to consent to our services unless sole custody has been awarded. 

Life is not a problem to be solved, it’s a mystery to be lived.

Every journey begins with a first step. Let me support your child on the road to a happier and more successful future. Contact me today at (514) 704-1307.

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